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You remember that feeling you had on your first day of college, when you were walking through the gates of your faculty, on your way to be taught the first course in designing, thinking: "I cannot believe they will teach me something I already love so much! How amazing that people will end up PAYING me for doing something that I am passionate about! 
"
Let's stop right there because as a graduate Graphic Designer and one who has been in the field for 4 years now, I can assure that this will be your final good thought related to Graphic Design and Art in general.
If you have made the same mistake I did and thought that Graphic Design is the closest thing you'll be to a well paid artist, you are dead wrong and if you are reading this now before going to college, listen to this advise that I am giving you, because you will be met with a huge disappointment later in life.
From the moment you step into the field of design, you will meet, in your opinion, the most ignorant people alive. These people will take the form of Marketing Managers, Sales Managers, General Managers and and of course, the inevitable clients.
As a designer, you don't know design.
From day one, your motivation will be shattered the moment you realize that your artistic eye and expertise as a graphic designer do not matter at all. 99.5% of the time, the powers that be at your company will have zero knowledge of what is "harmony in design", "rules of design" or anything you have spent the last four years being taught. They will only care about a beautiful design, and believe me, "beautiful" will vary from the Marketing Director's office to the Sales Director's.
They most likely graduated from Business School (if not inherited the company from their father) and surprisingly, they will have an opinion about your design even before it leaves your computer, sometimes even your own head.
Apparently what they forget to teach you at college is that you, as a designer who have studied, researched and worked till the break of dawn, have no clue what designing is. Only the people who get paid more than you do.
But there is one rule that all design firms share. If the design is approved, they will take the credit for it. If the design is rejected, you will take the blame for it.
You are a 'design producing' machine.
Another obvious piece of information they will forget to teach you at college is that you are not a human being who needs to be in a healthy environment to be able to produce a good design.
You will notice in time that you are not better than the machine you are working and pretty much the same concept applies for YOU and your PC (Mac). Much like you click a button and expect the software to react in less than 2 seconds, your superiors will "click you" and be expecting you to produce a "really creative, never-before-seen design" within the hour.
Forget the "I need time", the "I need creativity" or the "Can I breath" shit that you used to pull on your teachers at college, because this won't work anymore. You are expected to give out your best on time, every time, given that your best meets what your superior think is aesthetically acceptable, not what YOU consider aesthetically acceptable. After all, you are here to design, not to give your opinion!
The client knows more than you do
If your lucky star was shining bright and you were able to convince your directors that the design is client-worthy, fear not: the client will take over and reject the design because, he, as the owner of a fast food restaurant or a supermarket, knows which design sells and which doesn't. His expertise in the food industry automatically reflects on his designing skills and he will waste no time is giving you his opinion on the project that he hired you to do!
He will do whatever he can to change the design back to what he originally thought, even though you are most likely pulling your eyes out at the ugliness that is now being called "design", but you will be reassuring yourself by saying: "It's OK... as long as I am getting paid"
And it is as this point that you realize your true purpose.
You are not here to come up with the idea, design it and market it. You are here to apply other people's ideas. You are here to apply your software skills, which you could have gained by taking a 4 months course at some institute. You are here to listen to your superiors, to your client, and sometimes, to the client's mother and after everyone gives his opinion, it will be passed back to you to "finish it off".
This will of course affect another dream you used to have, which is going freelancing.
Freelance is the escape word for every designer, which is a sort of a "I am my own boss" feeling that will again be lost from you when you realize that the client would rather pay you a little bit less than nothing. Good luck with convincing him that he should hire you and not the punk who will take the same job for 10% of the payment you're asking. Don't even think about using words like: "I know design", "I know what sells" or "It's my job to know", because he will only be thinking of one thing: "I can get my design for much cheaper".
I will not even begin on the shit storm that comes out from freelancing, such as you running after your clients for the money they legally owe you, the back and forth corrections and adjustments or the unbelievable amount of ignorance you will meet.
--
Sadly, this is the field we are working in today. A job that was supposed to be personal and enjoyable is slowly turning into the most hated field out there, and one that is likely to die soon with all the "free templates" websites out there, which require only a little knowledge in how to press "download" to get any design you can think of.
To anyone who is reading this and still didn't get into the field, believe me, it's all the same everywhere. Even jumping from one company to another will not change the fact that people will always think they know more than you. No one will let you do the work you are hired to do.
You are no more than a mere tool, a middle man between their ideas and the software they don't know how to operate.
You have no opinion, you have no designing skills and you most definitely have no money to stop caring.
" Let's stop right there because as a graduate Graphic Designer and one who has been in the field for 4 years now, I can assure that this will be your final good thought related to Graphic Design and Art in general.
If you have made the same mistake I did and thought that Graphic Design is the closest thing you'll be to a well paid artist, you are dead wrong and if you are reading this now before going to college, listen to this advise that I am giving you, because you will be met with a huge disappointment later in life.
From the moment you step into the field of design, you will meet, in your opinion, the most ignorant people alive. These people will take the form of Marketing Managers, Sales Managers, General Managers and and of course, the inevitable clients.
As a designer, you don't know design.
From day one, your motivation will be shattered the moment you realize that your artistic eye and expertise as a graphic designer do not matter at all. 99.5% of the time, the powers that be at your company will have zero knowledge of what is "harmony in design", "rules of design" or anything you have spent the last four years being taught. They will only care about a beautiful design, and believe me, "beautiful" will vary from the Marketing Director's office to the Sales Director's.
They most likely graduated from Business School (if not inherited the company from their father) and surprisingly, they will have an opinion about your design even before it leaves your computer, sometimes even your own head.
Apparently what they forget to teach you at college is that you, as a designer who have studied, researched and worked till the break of dawn, have no clue what designing is. Only the people who get paid more than you do.
But there is one rule that all design firms share. If the design is approved, they will take the credit for it. If the design is rejected, you will take the blame for it.
You are a 'design producing' machine.
Another obvious piece of information they will forget to teach you at college is that you are not a human being who needs to be in a healthy environment to be able to produce a good design.
You will notice in time that you are not better than the machine you are working and pretty much the same concept applies for YOU and your PC (Mac). Much like you click a button and expect the software to react in less than 2 seconds, your superiors will "click you" and be expecting you to produce a "really creative, never-before-seen design" within the hour.
Forget the "I need time", the "I need creativity" or the "Can I breath" shit that you used to pull on your teachers at college, because this won't work anymore. You are expected to give out your best on time, every time, given that your best meets what your superior think is aesthetically acceptable, not what YOU consider aesthetically acceptable. After all, you are here to design, not to give your opinion!
The client knows more than you do
If your lucky star was shining bright and you were able to convince your directors that the design is client-worthy, fear not: the client will take over and reject the design because, he, as the owner of a fast food restaurant or a supermarket, knows which design sells and which doesn't. His expertise in the food industry automatically reflects on his designing skills and he will waste no time is giving you his opinion on the project that he hired you to do!
He will do whatever he can to change the design back to what he originally thought, even though you are most likely pulling your eyes out at the ugliness that is now being called "design", but you will be reassuring yourself by saying: "It's OK... as long as I am getting paid"
And it is as this point that you realize your true purpose.
You are not here to come up with the idea, design it and market it. You are here to apply other people's ideas. You are here to apply your software skills, which you could have gained by taking a 4 months course at some institute. You are here to listen to your superiors, to your client, and sometimes, to the client's mother and after everyone gives his opinion, it will be passed back to you to "finish it off".
This will of course affect another dream you used to have, which is going freelancing.
Freelance is the escape word for every designer, which is a sort of a "I am my own boss" feeling that will again be lost from you when you realize that the client would rather pay you a little bit less than nothing. Good luck with convincing him that he should hire you and not the punk who will take the same job for 10% of the payment you're asking. Don't even think about using words like: "I know design", "I know what sells" or "It's my job to know", because he will only be thinking of one thing: "I can get my design for much cheaper".
I will not even begin on the shit storm that comes out from freelancing, such as you running after your clients for the money they legally owe you, the back and forth corrections and adjustments or the unbelievable amount of ignorance you will meet.
--
Sadly, this is the field we are working in today. A job that was supposed to be personal and enjoyable is slowly turning into the most hated field out there, and one that is likely to die soon with all the "free templates" websites out there, which require only a little knowledge in how to press "download" to get any design you can think of.
To anyone who is reading this and still didn't get into the field, believe me, it's all the same everywhere. Even jumping from one company to another will not change the fact that people will always think they know more than you. No one will let you do the work you are hired to do.
You are no more than a mere tool, a middle man between their ideas and the software they don't know how to operate.
You have no opinion, you have no designing skills and you most definitely have no money to stop caring.
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April 2009 -- Feb 2010 [Getting Married]
9 min read
Been a long time since I updated this journal, but it's because a lot of things happened to me in 2009. Big big changes, so read on 
This journal picks up exactly where my last journal left off
A Journal-Sequel if you want.
April 15 2009: Everyone is a liar
I started freelancing for a guy who turns out to be the biggest liar Lebanon every graced. Seriously, our politicians got SHIT on this guy. I won't name names because I'm better than that.... K A T , XXXX CHAIRMAN..... Anyway, he is full of promises and talk about future companies opening and me helping him design them, promises about me getting good positions and high salaries.... Well, everything is a lie. He barely pays me 150$/brand identity, and he chokes up every time he does it.
May 20 2009: Time for a change
I am sitting in the car with my girlfriend :devcorpsebrodee00: and we are talking about my situation, and I decide that there is no way to continue living like this in Lebanon. She makes some contacts, and first ray of hope of me moving to Bahrain starts shining... a change.
June 13 2009: Best SMS I ever got
I am still working for that moron, cursing the day that HE became my only income.... when I get an sms from my girlfriend informing me that I GOT THE VISA to Bahrain! I am barely able to keep my excitement in front of him, and I am overwhelmed with a feeling of happiness like never before. 
I am going to Bahrain on August 1 2009!!! 
July 23 2009: First big step
One week before moving to Bahrain, I find myself in Buffalo Steak House, Hazmieh, on one knee, "God Bless The Broken Road" song is playing on the speakers, and I am asking my girlfriend to be my wife At 11pm, I officially engaged to corpsebride00
August 1 2009: Landing in Bahrain
Me and my FIANCEE take a flight at 3pm to Bahrain. Tears and emotions engulf me at the airport in Beirut, as I am saying goodbye to my family and friends, knowing no matter promises we said to each other, things ARE going to change. Emotional moment mixed with excitement and happiness that I am finally leaving this shit hole.
September 25 2009: A good start, bright idea for the future
Things are going amazingly in Bahrain, I am incredibly happy, and find myself singing on the way to work, early in the morning. Remember how bad I had it in Lebanon, things cannot get any better.
But wait, they just did, because me and Mirna (corpsebride00) decide to defy all the odds, stop playing it safe and do what everyone at the time thought is too soon! GET MARRIED IN DECEMBER 2009.
September 26 2009: Talking people into it
I find myself on the phone with my mom, sister, aunt, grandma, three best friends and a lady that I hold dear to my heart, telling them that I am getting married within three months.
They do NOT take it well.
I convince them over and over, saying I have everything planned out, I know what I am doing, I will come to Lebanon, prepare the wedding for one month, and I'll get married in December.
The idea grows slowly on them, and they finally approve and give me their blessings.
October 29 2009: Changing Companies
My work with the company in Bahrain is not going well. They don't pay us salaries and give us too much work, so I contact another company and get a new job there. Given that I have to get on THEIR working visa, I have to leave Bahrain until they move me. I am leaving Bahrain November 1 2009, and will take the time to prepare for the wedding, which is falling on December 20, 2009.
November 1 2009: A Reminder why I left Lebanon in the first place
First night I get to Lebanon, 4 hours after my landing, me and my friends get into a big car accident. The car flipped on its side, and slammed into a wall. I am climbing out of the window and crawling on the floor, and my shoulder is killing me. I think of NOT telling my fiancee who is still in Bahrain, because she is going to freak out. I suffer from a fractured rib and I tore a ligament in my shoulder. Can't drive around anymore, so I have to rely on friends to take me places to prepare the wedding.
corpsebride00 does NOT take it well when she found out! She is worried, scared, and angry all at the same time.
November 3 2009: Birthday that I couldn't care less about
It's my birthday, but I totally forgot about it. I am so busy with the wedding, my arm and everything that it didn't matter to me at all. My friends got me a FIFA 2010 for the Ps3. Getting a ps3 game as a bday gift is the best
November 25 2009: Back to Bahrain for one week
I got back to Bahrain on the new company's working visa, and I am also there to move my stuff into the new apartment that me and my soon-to-be-wife move into. I am paying a shit load of money for it/month, but it's fkn worth it.
December 19 2009: The Night before the Wedding
Never in my 24 years of living have I ever been so worried. I cannot smile, I cannot laugh, I am just worried all over. Not because I am scared of my decision or having second thoughts, but because I want the wedding to go perfectly. I have a bachelor's night that I barely remember, and I go to sleep. TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY.
December 20 2009: the W-day
I wake up early in the morning, my best man invites me to a spa & massage at Le Royal, so I can relax before the wedding. Very nice.
It's a blur, I only remember bits and pieces, because it was all like a dream.
But I remember standing in front of two cameras and have my pictures taken, I remember getting out of the window car and dancing and clapping and
hearing the people around me cheering...
I remember standing at the altar, and looking at the most amazing scene ever. The woman I love, in white, walking towards me, smiling.... It's surreal. I barely see everyone in church, SHE is all I see. I don't remember if I'm smiling, laughing, frowning.... But it's a great feeling.
The party after goes really well. I'm dancing, singing, cutting cakes, kissing and I don't care about anyone! I am married now!
December 20 2009: The Night
Shame on you people! I won't write about the wedding night!! Naughty naughty people! I am disappointed in you!
December 27 2009: Honeymooning in DisneyLand Paris
For the next 7 days, I will live at the Radison Blu and enjoy the dreamland that is DisneyLand, and most of all, I'm sharing this dream with the woman I just married. Things cannot go better.
From Toy Story, Pirates of the Caribbeans, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Magic of Cinema, 3D animations...... and freaking zero degrees weather, and it's all a dream that I don't want to wake up from. Such a happy place, I am having the best time of my life, and it just keeps getting better and better. What a vacation, what a honeymoon.....
December 31 2009: New Year's Fireworks
What better way to spend New Year's Eve than sitting, in -1 degree weather, waiting for the fireworks to erupt from behind the Sleeping Beauty Castle in Disneyland Park? Everyone is there, thousands of people, of all ages. Next to me, a grandma is dancing to an 80's song that the DJ is playing, on the other side, a whole family is standing, waiting, eating....
And then, at midnight, the clock struck 12 and I would enjoy 5 mins of fireworks, like none I've seen before. I got it all on video of course, such a memory should not be kept only in my head! I have to watch it over and over and over....
What a night
January 4: Back to Bahrain
While it's a heartache to leave Disneyland, it's also great because I get to start my new life!
And now, here I am, married, in my own apartment, with my wife, writing this journal. I can say that I am a happy man. In one year, I so many things happened, and the outcome was only getting better and better.
A list of what I did:
- Got fired from my job
- Got Lied to and ripped out of my money
- Got Engaged
- Moved to another country
- Got into a huge car accident
- Got Married
- Honeymooned in Disneyland Paris
- Got my own apartment
Though 2010 is looking like it will be a much calmer year, I can never tell with the way my life usually goes, so I am all ready for whatever life will throw at me, or where it will throw me, or whatever
Bring it on!
This journal picks up exactly where my last journal left off
A Journal-Sequel if you want. April 15 2009: Everyone is a liar
I started freelancing for a guy who turns out to be the biggest liar Lebanon every graced. Seriously, our politicians got SHIT on this guy. I won't name names because I'm better than that.... K A T , XXXX CHAIRMAN..... Anyway, he is full of promises and talk about future companies opening and me helping him design them, promises about me getting good positions and high salaries.... Well, everything is a lie. He barely pays me 150$/brand identity, and he chokes up every time he does it.
May 20 2009: Time for a change
I am sitting in the car with my girlfriend :devcorpsebrodee00: and we are talking about my situation, and I decide that there is no way to continue living like this in Lebanon. She makes some contacts, and first ray of hope of me moving to Bahrain starts shining... a change.
June 13 2009: Best SMS I ever got
I am still working for that moron, cursing the day that HE became my only income.... when I get an sms from my girlfriend informing me that I GOT THE VISA to Bahrain! I am barely able to keep my excitement in front of him, and I am overwhelmed with a feeling of happiness like never before.
I am going to Bahrain on August 1 2009!!! July 23 2009: First big step
One week before moving to Bahrain, I find myself in Buffalo Steak House, Hazmieh, on one knee, "God Bless The Broken Road" song is playing on the speakers, and I am asking my girlfriend to be my wife
At 11pm, I officially engaged to corpsebride00 August 1 2009: Landing in Bahrain
Me and my FIANCEE take a flight at 3pm to Bahrain. Tears and emotions engulf me at the airport in Beirut, as I am saying goodbye to my family and friends, knowing no matter promises we said to each other, things ARE going to change. Emotional moment mixed with excitement and happiness that I am finally leaving this shit hole.
September 25 2009: A good start, bright idea for the future
Things are going amazingly in Bahrain, I am incredibly happy, and find myself singing on the way to work, early in the morning. Remember how bad I had it in Lebanon, things cannot get any better.
But wait, they just did, because me and Mirna (corpsebride00) decide to defy all the odds, stop playing it safe and do what everyone at the time thought is too soon! GET MARRIED IN DECEMBER 2009.
September 26 2009: Talking people into it
I find myself on the phone with my mom, sister, aunt, grandma, three best friends and a lady that I hold dear to my heart, telling them that I am getting married within three months.
They do NOT take it well.
I convince them over and over, saying I have everything planned out, I know what I am doing, I will come to Lebanon, prepare the wedding for one month, and I'll get married in December.
The idea grows slowly on them, and they finally approve and give me their blessings.
October 29 2009: Changing Companies
My work with the company in Bahrain is not going well. They don't pay us salaries and give us too much work, so I contact another company and get a new job there. Given that I have to get on THEIR working visa, I have to leave Bahrain until they move me. I am leaving Bahrain November 1 2009, and will take the time to prepare for the wedding, which is falling on December 20, 2009.
November 1 2009: A Reminder why I left Lebanon in the first place
First night I get to Lebanon, 4 hours after my landing, me and my friends get into a big car accident. The car flipped on its side, and slammed into a wall. I am climbing out of the window and crawling on the floor, and my shoulder is killing me. I think of NOT telling my fiancee who is still in Bahrain, because she is going to freak out. I suffer from a fractured rib and I tore a ligament in my shoulder. Can't drive around anymore, so I have to rely on friends to take me places to prepare the wedding.
corpsebride00 does NOT take it well when she found out! She is worried, scared, and angry all at the same time.
November 3 2009: Birthday that I couldn't care less about
It's my birthday, but I totally forgot about it. I am so busy with the wedding, my arm and everything that it didn't matter to me at all. My friends got me a FIFA 2010 for the Ps3. Getting a ps3 game as a bday gift is the best
November 25 2009: Back to Bahrain for one week
I got back to Bahrain on the new company's working visa, and I am also there to move my stuff into the new apartment that me and my soon-to-be-wife move into. I am paying a shit load of money for it/month, but it's fkn worth it.
December 19 2009: The Night before the Wedding
Never in my 24 years of living have I ever been so worried. I cannot smile, I cannot laugh, I am just worried all over. Not because I am scared of my decision or having second thoughts, but because I want the wedding to go perfectly. I have a bachelor's night that I barely remember, and I go to sleep. TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY.
December 20 2009: the W-day
I wake up early in the morning, my best man invites me to a spa & massage at Le Royal, so I can relax before the wedding. Very nice.
It's a blur, I only remember bits and pieces, because it was all like a dream.
But I remember standing in front of two cameras and have my pictures taken, I remember getting out of the window car and dancing and clapping and
hearing the people around me cheering...
I remember standing at the altar, and looking at the most amazing scene ever. The woman I love, in white, walking towards me, smiling.... It's surreal. I barely see everyone in church, SHE is all I see. I don't remember if I'm smiling, laughing, frowning.... But it's a great feeling.
The party after goes really well. I'm dancing, singing, cutting cakes, kissing and I don't care about anyone! I am married now!
December 20 2009: The Night
Shame on you people! I won't write about the wedding night!! Naughty naughty people! I am disappointed in you!
December 27 2009: Honeymooning in DisneyLand Paris
For the next 7 days, I will live at the Radison Blu and enjoy the dreamland that is DisneyLand, and most of all, I'm sharing this dream with the woman I just married. Things cannot go better.
From Toy Story, Pirates of the Caribbeans, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Magic of Cinema, 3D animations...... and freaking zero degrees weather, and it's all a dream that I don't want to wake up from. Such a happy place, I am having the best time of my life, and it just keeps getting better and better. What a vacation, what a honeymoon.....
December 31 2009: New Year's Fireworks
What better way to spend New Year's Eve than sitting, in -1 degree weather, waiting for the fireworks to erupt from behind the Sleeping Beauty Castle in Disneyland Park? Everyone is there, thousands of people, of all ages. Next to me, a grandma is dancing to an 80's song that the DJ is playing, on the other side, a whole family is standing, waiting, eating....
And then, at midnight, the clock struck 12 and I would enjoy 5 mins of fireworks, like none I've seen before. I got it all on video of course, such a memory should not be kept only in my head! I have to watch it over and over and over....
What a night
January 4: Back to Bahrain
While it's a heartache to leave Disneyland, it's also great because I get to start my new life!
And now, here I am, married, in my own apartment, with my wife, writing this journal. I can say that I am a happy man. In one year, I so many things happened, and the outcome was only getting better and better.
A list of what I did:
- Got fired from my job
- Got Lied to and ripped out of my money
- Got Engaged
- Moved to another country
- Got into a huge car accident
- Got Married
- Honeymooned in Disneyland Paris
- Got my own apartment
Though 2010 is looking like it will be a much calmer year, I can never tell with the way my life usually goes, so I am all ready for whatever life will throw at me, or where it will throw me, or whatever
Bring it on!
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Events of the past six months.
10 min read
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Sacrificing Art
3 min read
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LOST returns tonight
1 min read
Season 5.
The Wait is Over.
'nuff said.
The Wait is Over.
'nuff said.
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